Friday, July 31, 2009

tiring FYP

For the past 1 week, i had been busy with my school's final yr project "proposal" alone. zzZZ slpless nites.. overly use of computer.. tons of meeting with team-mates.. strand of my eyes.. @@ i really fell sick after that.. which was yesterday. -.- I had headache last nite when i return hm, i couldnt take it n finally took a medicine my bf got it for me (he even tested the heat of the water b4 he let me drink it ^^, internally i am 200% healed! lol) so i fell aslp at 9+ pm.. last few nites i was like slping at 12+, 1+ ,3 n wake up at 7, that continued for few nites even. *faint* Now that the proposal had finally submitted, i felt much relieved. =w=.. But! i know.. the nitemare has yet to come... FYP!

~~~post is done at 10:27am 31st July 2009~~~ I believe something BIG is coming... Be prepared!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

不明白

Sometimes i feel that he seemed happier when he wasn't with me. He laughed more often when he is at the living room with his sis, while i am in his bedroom. Even if we were tgt in the room. He would play on his computer n hav fun. When it's time, he would leave to do other things like watching tv, having fun with his sis, teasing the rabbit n laughed tgt. N im inside his room alone. Sometimes we do laugh tgt but, like wat my previous topic said, we tend to hav more differences as time goes by. We could feel unsatisfied with things we done. u not happy with me n neither am i happy with u, that kind of feeling u know. However, when i think of the happy moments we both had, it mixes up my feeling n make me feel sad. Y mus things hav to be in this way? I know a couple should be giving n taking to get along happily, y cant i be more idiotic? More careless, less mindful of surrounding, or in another word, fuck care of what happen that make me 不顺眼, 不爽 or wat. i know i m very petty in relationship, i wasnt like this at all with my ex-es.. i jus dun understand y would i become like this. U used to control me so tightly that i hav not much frens now, no one call me to go out, no one would msg me "how r u? wan to meet up sometimes?", or watever, my phone could stay silent for days, ever if i on my msn, it's as gd as pointless cos it wont make a sound, no one would msn me. I prevented frens from the past to reach me again, i even changed my hp number, removed my friendster, changed my email address, i did it all because of u, but y sometimes i still feel no appreciated? I know, if this issue is mentioned again, u would say u r already very sorry, jus go do watever i wan n befriend with whoever i wan rite? Sometimes that sound irresponsible u know, depend on how u put it. Y cant i sense anything from u? Y sometimes ur face has told everything but yet ur mouth still denied?! thats super annoying u know? i dun wan to talk to u more on anything cos i know how attitude can i be when im not happy with u, sometimes i know im wrong or wat, i jus wan to oppose u, i jus wan to do it! Would u care more about me? I know that if i raise this up again, what will be the result, i dun wan to argue with u, neither i wan to shout at u or be unreasonable with u, i jus wan to say it out, no frens, no family, all i can find is blog here to keep something about me, some part of my life that happened. At least i am remembered.

~~~post is done at 7:42pm 26th July 2009~~~ Will someone remember me? or will i be remembered by anyone in the heart?

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Im disappointed! F***

Today i went down to Singtel happily cos i wanted to re-contract my soon-to-expire Singtel plan. I had eyed on the Samsung Preston when i first saw it online n immediately told my bf i wanted to change to this phone once my plan ends.. On the internet i saw that it is $0 with 2 yrs contract, that's it, no other info at all. But, when i went there, i actually have to sign up another broadband plan, tgt with my existing plan, so can i get the phone with $0. Sad... I was really disappointed. =(

when i went hm, i checked on the internet again n i saw that there r diff when u purchase online or in singtel shop. my bf also said that, but the singtel staff didnt! Then my bf ask me to call to ask if i purchase it online, will it be $0 like wat the web says. But i also wanted to convert to student plan so i hav some question to ask rite? N i afraid if i straight purchase it thru the phone(cos they might be able to help us make online purchase rite? who knows), will forget to ask something n make wrong purchase instead???!! so i ask my bf n he say.......................

Aiya, im not in gd mood now, i hav no mood to type out what he said jus now, on the whole i am pek chek, with singtel, with my bf, with my disappointment, with the little boy who sneezed behind my bf while we were queuing at Singtel n made he du lan. angry that the mood became like this! i m so angry u know? i am disappointed already cos i cant change my phone, my current phone is already showing sign of wear n tear, keep on having problems like shuting off by itself, not responsive to the buttons, etc.. N one thing i noticed is, "most" of the times, my bf will not be happy when we were outside, be it to hav a walk at the mall, or go out n "play" (it is the same as walking jus that we walk at towns instead of neighborhood SC, and dress slightly nicely), my bf will get irritated to at least one thing(i emphasize, not every time when we went out, it is "MOST" of the time). I dunno y.. i ask him:"y r u moody?", he says:"No, im not. Nth" n it seemed like he wanted to go hm right immediately. N my face was like, i-wish-someone-could-be-kind-enough-to-let-me-slap-him-or-her-hard-on-the-face. "i am not blind" was my response to him. R couples that being tgt too long tend to show all these kind of attitude to their partner? 佛也有火.. something i was fuming till my ears were red n my face were hot. If hitting somebody wasnt a crime, i would do it. I am violent when i angry, i admit. I wont hurt someone of course. I jus like to vent it out by destroying things violently. Sometimes i like to vent it on myself, i will feel better, really. Really sadist. Y the closer the 2 ppl get, the more the conflict. 数不尽的磨差。 I hate this, this make me fear on marriage even more.

~~~post is done at 9:48pm 25th July 2009~~~ Can we have more tolerance to each other? Im like a timed bomb already. Dun make it blow pls

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

headach day =(

Today i was having the chronic headache again.. -.- it is super irritating n distracting! idk y?? i keep having headache once in awhile sometimes.. n it makes me feel so agitated that my mood gets worst.. $#%#$# i know i shouldnt but it is really unbearable!!! HAIZ!! like today.. i had 2 major module in 1 day. -_____-" in the morning im struggling with php programming.. had FYP meeting during break until my lesson started at 130.. *siong.. (cos feeling headache).. then the powderful one is.. java n action script! piang i really drained.. all the way till 3pm, had a mini-pathetic 15 mins break till 3.15pm then headed off to fusionopolis..

up till now i still dunno what it is?? a office building? a dun-look-so-much-like-a-mall-yet-look-like-it building? a half-established watever?? all i know it's located at Buona Vista.. somewhere near the mrt station.. supposedly, my class n ashes class were to be present but some of them didnt go.. *actually i didnt want to go too.. ><.. but couldnt escape cos my lecturer who taugh me in the afternoon was in charge of bringing us there.. so.. i couldnt run! ZZzz.... we went there for a talk on different classification of video games.. by MDA (media development and authority).. a guy briefted us on various types of games that r violence, consist of sexual content, nudity or gore.. as i am a media student too.. i think the purpose of this talk is to make us aware of the limitation singapore is accepting. Hmmm.. Actually i think something that attracts a person's interest is actually what being censored away. XD~~ dun u agree? After the talk ended, i met my bf at buona vista mrt station n we headed off hm tgt... =w= lucky my bf helped me carried the bag n laptop if not i think my body is gonna ache too. ><" TQ dear! ^^

~~~post is done at 9:34pm 15th July 2009~~~ headache i hate u pls go away T^T

Saturday, July 11, 2009

laze~~ =w=

wah~~ wat a lazy me today... Zzz.. feel so gd to laze once a while sometimes lol ^^ suddenly i feel so gd when it is friday cos i know it will be weekend after that! woah!! I <3 weekends.. no school, no assignment(sometimes).. no nid to climb that "wonderful" overhead bridge near my hs.. -.- no nid to carry my "lovely-light-weighted" laptop and charger and still have to CLIMB staircase in my school!! argh.. 不见得我会瘦一点.. O_O

Yesterday drank some chivas with my boyfren n his sisters at home! lol.. so long nv drink already.. feel quite gd n recalled the time when i used to drink... thinking back.. i've not chilled out for so long already... my last ktv session was 2 yrs back when i celebrated my birthday in 2007 at civic centre's party world... -____- i rmb clearly lo... haiz. n my last clubbing was st.james.. also 2 yrs back.. HAIZZZZ!!!!! sometimes i really wan to go play n relax n hav FUN! ARGGHHHH.... Y?Y??Y??? though my bf promised he will not stop me anymore.. i still can't go! I can't put through myself to jus go without thinking whether he like or not! ZZZZZZZZZZ!! SIAN! dun write le!

~~~post is done at 8:36pm 11th July 2009~~~ I wish i can go out play some "night"!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

ZZZzz sudden attack isn't fun -.-

wah lao jus now i played SA (sudden attack) n i so pek chek la! -___- i know such game is like that, if u did something wrong or u cause others to die, u r a jerk! Damn... they keep saying "retard la", "noob".. zzzz sian.. i scolded them retarded n left.. all suckers! #$#$!% then now i go in maple n play.. better rite? u dun hav to team up with others, instead i think training alone is better lo.. -.- sian.. when my mood back then i con't playing that.. maybe combat arms.. Hump!

~~~post is done at 4:10pm 5th July 2009~~~ Argh!! i HATE sudden attack!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

1st wkend after school reopens!

Wah... im feeling so gd after a gd slp last night (though i sprained my neck while slping -.- it hurts still! T.T). Today is the first saturday after my new school term starts. I had been busy from mon to yesterday and now i could finally relax n watch naruto.. lol.. been watching a bit here n there.. now only watch till 120++ episodes with my bf..

Im downloading a new game "Combat Arms" lol.. somwtimes hav to switch game to play n hav fun! haha.. i've not been playing CS for a loooong time.. guess i'll still scream when playing the new game, haha.. cos i rmb i used to got very excited when playing CS at lan shop.. -.-.. nervous ma..

(i've jus checked n found that the game is only around 60% downloaded.. -.- super slow)

It's 8pm now, 3 hrs more n i can watch Jacky's Wu show "我猜我猜我猜猜猜" with my bf. ^^ that show is funny lol.. Jacky Wu is really talented.

(22 mins 9 secs left.. -.-)

u know wat? i always think y is it sun tml whenever it's sat today. -.- i wish my weekend could be longer.. T.T n when it is sun, i will whine about tml is Mon!! zzzz Monday Blue is true.. but i feel bored sometimes when i was having holidays. @@ human beings r emotional..

I hav 5 to 7mths to graduation.. thinking of it make me hav mixed feelings.. hmmm... i wanted to work so as to earn money n move on to another stage of my live. on the other hand, i wish i could be living like a student cos it is much much stressless than working live. Agree? Whoever worked before will understand. Forget it, whatever is bound to be coming or happen, let it be. Oh well.

This is the game im downloading now, join me if u wan! ^^







~~~post is done at 8:15pm 4th July 2009~~~

Friday, July 3, 2009

Wee~~

Bye php!!!!!! wah.. i am like an undead for this whole week la.. -.- been coding n coding n staring at it for nites! @@ cock-eyed already-.- finally now can let my eye rest awhile le.. phew~~ =w=

now i can relax~~ play game~~ listen to music~~ drink coffee~~ watch anime~~ watch show~~ wah~~~~~~ i <3 it~~~~

but i know this is not long-lasting wan! ROAR~~~!!!! My lecturer already announced our next assignments.. other module also.. SOB!! T^T 就知道每拿么好。。。

Thursday, July 2, 2009

potato salad

Today i had a potato salad which i bought in the school during lunch. I wanted to try it for a loooooong time n finally i tried it today.. Hmmm... not so gd as i expected, in fact i couldnt finish it -.- Lucky Faith n Karen helped with the rest.. guess this is the last time i'll be buying from the school's stalll! @@ I actually tot it was nice! -__- maybe it was that time when i went to Sakae Sushi with Jess and Ling 2 yrs ago.. They order it n it was so nice! T^T but the school's disappointed me.. sob.. i know i shouldnt expect too much in wat the school is selling. ZZzzz.. I will try it in Sakae Sushi again one day!