savage garden

Came across this song from Savage Garden n i like the lyrics a lot! such a talent but too they disbanded :(

FYI: it is the second track of my playlist: affirmation by Savage Garden ;)

I believe the sun should never set upon an argument

I believe we place our happiness in other people's hands

I believe that junk food tastes so good because it's bad for you

I believe your parents did the best job they knew how to do

I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem

I believe I'm loved when I'm completely by myself alone

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality

I believe that trust is more important than monogamy

I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul

I believe that family is worth more than money or gold

I believe the struggle for financial freedom is unfair

I believe the only ones who disagree are millionaires

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye

I believe forgiveness is the key to your own happiness

I believe that wedded bliss negates the need to be undressed

I believe that God does not endorse tv evangelists

I believe in love surviving death into eternity

I believe in Karma what you give is what you get returned

I believe you can't appreciate real love 'til you've been burned

I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side

I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye(Repeat 2)

Until you say goodbye

Oh no no no no no ( Repeats itself many times fading)

song is a kind sitmulation too

Been listening to Jay's songs these days, needless to say, his songs, from classic to recent, r really nice and meaningful. He is really talented.

saw this MV.. the song is so nice and i like the rhythm too.. however i tried upload the vid but it seems too big of the file. nvm here's the link to it. click me.

one of the things i do to keep myself occupied is watching MV from youtube, ya, again, i think i no life. i know it's fine to do it once in a while but i could say i doing it almost everyday. the routine would be facebook, taking care of my game thingy... play poker... look out for funny video my fren updates or jus starring it for mins. then when i get bored with FB, i would watch youtube, there i would look for video like cute kittens, MV or jus random video... again my purpose is to keep myself away from boredom. where is he? he is all along beside me, but i could nv felt him there. seriously. it's as if i m alone but yet no freedom, to clarify it is not becos he doesnt give me freedom YET, he gave it to me at later time, ha. as if it could change anything. so naive. it nv change but something else changes. guess.

we talked last night till 3am. it was supposed to be a way to resolve our problem, but i dun think it has. nothing has resolved or cleared. idk whether im right, it is not going to be fine like how we used to be. from the feeling i have, i know it. i can feel it and it has been persisting for so long already. i hate it. it has been ruling my mind, body n emotion. i feel like im breathless, im suffocating so bad that i wish someone could jus stab me in the heart.

how i cheer myself up

whenever im feeling down or sad, there is one thing that would effectively cheer me up. :D

yesterday when i was feeling sad again, i search for video on youtube n this is what i found. it's so adorable and funny that i forgot my worries and unhappiness when i c it. aw~~ i wish i could have one that brightens my day everyday. but, the fact that they would leave me one day make me think twice in getting them.

so here's the link to the vid, enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQCYMco_mqs&feature=channel

depressing me

for now, currently, i got a feeling that been persisting in me at almost all time. idk how to put it but it jus dun feel gd. something missing and empty, as if something is there for me to fill up. it could jus be some whining moment we always have in life, but deep inside i know i could nv end this, or do anything about it.

Few days back i saw this article that says something like this. a woman would gamble herself in a relationship, however when she loses or she knows that she had did it wrong, she wouldnt regret, instead she would gamble it more with her whole life. idk if i've phrase it correctly cos it is in chinese and i only had faint memory bout the article. i understand what it meant n i kinna able to relate it to myself.

From my pov, i think that most women r like this. one of the differences between men n women is that, we willing to risk and wont regret it even if it was wrong at the first place, agree? if we truly love a person, no matter how bad we feel or how it's gonna change our life, i mean, there r sacrifices to make rite? some would choose not to give in or change, some would. i think thats one of the challenges to face in a BGR and it's inevitable, am i rite?

I ask myself this question, always. am i able to give in for him? am i really do it on my own will or am i jus being appreciative? do i feel happy or am i simply avoiding? i couldnt possibly consult him rite? there will be chaos becos there will be a storm i know it too well. many things we cant talk bout, it would end up in quarrel, it's either i purposely provoke him or the way he talks is jus too unbearable. either way i think it's becos we r too close that we tend to take things for granted. isnt that so? do u know y couples hav conflicts? it's becos they r too close to ea other. recently we always argue bout things and quarrel starts to arise when we talk longer, becos it could link to many things. honestly speaking i think he has changed me, to someone who is narrow-minded. yes i am i admit. im really very narrow-minded to him. what happened or happening, i would be very involved. u could say im possessive, but i would say im feeling unjust. as a gf i think i've really done my job and part to avoid things he doesnt like, to happen. im avoiding trouble that jeopardize our relationship n i think i really did that well. what's the price? lost of many frens n time. i would say that i have been spending 90% of my time in a yr, staying in e hs. y? it's the safest and it's efficient in preventing quarrels. i know he doesnt like it and i dont do it, i know he likes to stay at hm n i accompanied him till now while i used to be quite a sociable person, i had my own time n frens, i had my leisure and ways of having fun and enjoy life. but i gave it all up for him! im being sensitive to his feeling, am i wrong? i make sacrifices and what do i get? hadnt grateful even come into his tots? y dun i c any appreciation at all? or is this wat i deserved? quarrel, argument, silence? what more should i deserve? i seriously believe time is very impt to a woman. We dun gamble our time n love in xchange for getting ignored or quarrel rite? seriously u make me think that u r simply looking for someone to be there for u when u r lonely. u jus need someone to listen when u r unhappy at work or someone to accompany u at nite when u slp. i dun understand, y u made me feel this way? u like to play game i understand, u have all ur frens with u when u r online n when u off, i will be there of some use, is this what u think? i know u would say no, it might really not. but u made me feel this way. y? i really feel pathetic...

i always wish someone could feel for me, someone who totally understand what im thinking and how bad im feeling. my heart will literately ache does anyone know? NO! i know it myself cos i felt it. at times im depressed does anyone know again? sad to say, it's a no again. really.. no one knows... how i feel... truly..

there is someone i miss a lot, and that person is my father. he had left me few months ago to somewhere far away. i wish i could be by his side now, doing my part as a daughter which i failed to be when he was alive. i really really regret it. though it had passed for months but i still miss him at times. most of the times, i wish he is still there. he wasnt a father that dotes his children by showing his love n cares. my father was a strict man and he hardly talked to his children, but his love towards his children was nv lesser than before. i've lost him now n i know it's the fact. i would always love him in my heart.... i wish he chould take me with him... many things have been pilling up, so much that i couldnt breathe at times. again n again... idk how much i can take it. again, no one knows.............

Acer irritates me!

Actually this issue has been bothering me ever since 2 or 3 months ago when my laptop started to restart on its own. it could happen more than 10 times in a day! can u imagine how irritating it could be??? since my warranty is still valid, i brought it for repair somewhere around mid Oct at Acer customer service center at JE. Now let me tell u the situation.

Flash back to Oct:

this period was the impt months for my final year project and my lappy started to show signs of wear n tear. ok fine, i knew my warranty could be used so i contacted Acer and went down to the service center on the following day. I told the counter staff about the problem and he replied that maybe my graphics card/ main board is faulty cos my lappy restart most of the time when i play games. then he told me it might take 3 to 5 working days for collection. THEN, i waited for around 3/4 days? i called to check bout the status and the person on the line told me it might need more days like 7 in total in order to be ready. i was like.. WTF? i understand it takes time for them to check and repair but i was in need of laptop too to do my project and stuff rite? i told my bf bout it and he tot that it could be faster so he called and ask in a rather harsh tone n gues what? i got my lappy back the next day. WTF again?? is being nice a disadvantage to myself? ZZZ.. Fine! whatever it is, my lappy was back and im please enough already. BUT, it was not the end and here is what happen. on the exterior, it looked perfectly fine! my screen was fixed where there used to have lines somewhere on the LCD, so i ASSUMED it was fixed too on the inside. i did some testing after 1 hr, my com restart again. WTF for the third time. Im so sick of it. really! the thing that annoyed me wasnt becos i couldnt play game but the fact that the problem still exist. it once shut down on it's own, w/o warning when i was doing my project and it hadnt been save yet, in another word, i had to re-do! what is this?!!! u know how terrifying it is to have ur work lost w/o saving? and while deadline is near?? again i was in panicky and my bf was even more angry than me cos he tot they were being inefficient. he called them n complaint again and that person says they were very sry and offered to collect the laptop from my place instead of me have to go down on my own, but i had to go sch the following day too so i might as well bring it down again. zzz.. this itme they were faster in repairing, idk y n all i concern is whether it is really fixed. they also offered to deliver to my place so i got it back after 3 days while the delivery man brought my laptop back and again i tested it again and it worked fine to me. no problem seen n i was really happy cos i TOT it was fine again! BUT again, it wasnt!!! ZZZZ it nv restart anymore, in fact it hang until i force shut it! do i have to do that to fix the problem? forcing shut a com is nv a gd way to shut ur com down i believe many ppl knows about this. i couldnt afford to take it to repair and wait again cos my project is really impt and i needed to start doing real soon! i didnt repair it and i jus constantly remind myself to save my work whenever i can to prevent lost of work again. i was really afraid u know? i dun hav an external hard disk nor anything for me to do a back-up, wat if one day my laptop really died and my work is gone permanently? i would seriously curse and swear to Acer and ask them to do retrieve for me!!

current:

now i was in the mid of my project cos it actually last till end of sem but i've gone thru first judging which is the interim presentation 2 days ago. it is not ended yet cos there will be a final one which my team n i have to present to everyone in the course and lecturers and it's going to take place somewhere next feb. there r only 2 months left but with the problem still exist, im worried every time i do my project. -__-"

please dun gib me problem!!!

BZ~~~~~ ><

Ya, like the title says.. im busy~~ very busy with my wonderful lovely final year project! zzz.. n guess what? the dooms day is coming -_- next monday is the first judge! oh no.. im worried cos the works r not substantial enough yet. Haiz.. so im mentaly prepared, learning to be thick-skinned and ready to get bad bad n really bad comments from the lecturers.. T^T anyway.. leave it a side... well, what hav i been doing?? hmm.. project.. meeting... brain-storming.... project.... project.. zzzzz.. ya.. i've no life. T^T sob. BUT! this is not perpetual. heh heh.. i gonna play my game again, laze again, slack as usual, shake legs whole day.. wahahhaha.. im anticipating. :D well jus gonna bear with it jus a little more!! 我忍!!! ><

some random pics to share~~ XD

angel again~~ so beautiful right? took these pics when i was doing my project at the living room.. she was jumping n bitting stuff, to get my attention perhaps -.-

up close of her!

Angel is cooked! LOL!!

No la it's dinner at Ajisen! These were taken when my bf n i went to CWP for the sneak preview of New Moon few days back.

(my bf's order)

yum yum!! (this is my order.. nice right! XD)

(*cuddling my rounded stomach*) thumbs up! of course i didnt manage to finish it, my bf cleared the rest up when i really stuffed. -_-

venus vs mars

Men is from Mars n Women is from Venus. This is true. we r totally from different planet, different way of doing thing n understanding. Harbor different logic & "language" but yet we r attracted to each other, fell in love, get married n give birth to species of mars n venus again. n it passes on. But y is that so? y could we love n hate them at the same time? how could we live on with each other while we sometimes shed the most tears for them? bear the most pain n swallow the most grieve? yes we do share the most joyous moment n laugh loudly together. But still, it's hard to get the message across becos we r not the same kind. Women could almost understand each other while talking about worries or concern. Men could almost understand each other while talking about soccer or games. But y r we meant to be opposite attracted? (despite the exceptional ones) or r we expected too much? is it "that" difficult to know what we actually wanted? there's no need to be this direct i guess even if u cant catch wat im "hinting". Blame on ur strength in observation. otherwise, y would we know what u r thinking with jus that little moves of urs?

(lets dun talk about sex here) who is the one that worries whether u r hungry? whether u r cold while slping in the nite? have u made new frens while going to work at a new environment? have u eaten ur lunch? did u enjoy being with me? did i make u happy enough?? i believe these r all common tots in women's mind. When u lose ur girl, u felt lonely n down, cos all human r the same, we need someone there to listen to us, be it happy or sad moment, we hope there is at least 1 person we could share with. it's exactly the same for us, we need someone to listen to us too, or jus show/pretend that u r attentive to me at least! i am very sure if u could show jus a little bit more of attention to us, we r very contented already. a little bit more of "I love U!", "Lets do something different today! together.", a light hug, a kiss before the nite ends, "ask" something when u saw that we r not happy or bored, n not pretend that u didnt c it at all. n another thing, prioritize us sometimes. not unreasonable kind, like above ur family or wat. wat i mean is u should prioritize us above ur game or soccer, depend on situation too, i didnt expect u to watch only me while the most exciting match is showing on tv now, i didnt expect u to only talking to me while it's ur weekend time to play ur game! did i ask for too much for that little attention of urs? if a man works, the time for him to talk to his gf is only about 3 hrs(maxed) before slp becos the earlier time was spent on working. sometimes its even lesser cos we "dun" jus talk non stop for 3hrs rite, u will watch the tv, hav dinner n turn on ur computer for games. for all these let's minus 1 hr, so in a day, the time spent is 2hrs, mon - fri is 10hrs. then my precious weekend came but most of the time was spent for game again.. can u imagine the hrs n days i have waited so far? on worst cases like we quarrel during wekends, this is the most annoying part cos there goes my weekends again. back to square 1, start waiting from monday again. if rite here u think that we women r calculative, men isn't any lesser than us sometimes. u plan nicely for the things u wan to do but neglect the time for ur gf, the reason? ur gf or spouse is always by ur side, u c her everyday n almost the moment u reach hm, so it became normal. gotten used to it already.

women gets old u know, n dies off like anybody else. we really wish the time spent with our love ones is meaningful, we wanted to make memories that is full of laughters, at least most of them. do u want to miss someone only when they r gone? the one who used to cover the blanket for u is no longer doing it, the one who listens to ur sad n happiness is no longer listening, the one who hug or coax u to slp is no longer doing so. Do u want to miss her only at that time?

all we ask for is only -treasure me pls.

vote pls! =)

Hi frens! Pls help to vote for my cousin at here! TQ for the support! His ID is BS14 Eddie! TQ very much! ^^v

holiday mood~~

I've not been blogging for so long!! ><

rite now is the 4th week of my holiday which is left with another 4 weeks! wahahaha!!! shiok! then when school re-open again, that will be my last sem n there r only 2 module to cover for the whole sem, muahahaha! cool!

well,then i've to bother with my job le.. =.= dunno wat kind of industry will i be working in?? hmm.. 以我的个性, i wont be working office job ba.. @@ but i like working office hrs. ^^ 8-5 or 9-6.. any job suggestion? @@ if i hav e opportunity to work n learn along as a designer, i'll be ok if the pay is lesser! =D wait long long rite? XD i know my strength!

seriously, i really dunno what job will i be working as in the futher. really stress cos i dun wan to choose the wrong job, n further more, jobs r hard to find, so many ppl r jobless now, so my critiria mus be different from others. lol.. lesser salary lo, no choice le..most importantly is the experience! wish me luck!

~~~post is done at 8:37am 17th Sept 2009~~~ my job, wat will it be? hopefully i could find something that suits me! ^^

pov regarding the "girl hit bf in the groin" video

i dun know if u know about the incident or hav watched the video about the title's story. In case u not sure which one im referring to, it's about the couple who quarreled n the gf keep hitting her bf's groin. i won't pose the link of the vid here, jus wanna give some personal point of view(pov)..

maybe the bf is having an affair n let the girl down or maybe otherwise, but i think it is their personal problem n it is their privacy. i know neither of them or am i being partial to the girl(being a girl myself), jus that i think it shouldn't be recorded n posted on stomp which usually would be published on the news. I saw it on yahoo, stomp(needless to say) and other media.. even FB. yes ppl made comment on "the girl shouldn't do this in public..", "that guy has no pride..", etc, but it shouldn't concern the audience n it is their(the couple) business. I know ppl took video of accident or unsightly behavior which the purpose is to let the public aware of the DOs n DON'Ts. yes this is educative, but does the couple's video educate anyone? most of them find it amusing n laugh at it(i laugh at it as well).. but somehow i think this is private n the couple in the video is the victim, y still rub salt on it? no matter who is at fault(im referring to the couple), it is still their problem, it is not necessary to let others know.

~~~post is done at 4:50pm 28th Aug 2009~~~ Pls be mindful of ur action n pls take others feeling into consideration

holiday~~ <3

yeah.. sem 1 is over! Assignments done, test finished n now i hav approx of 2 months holiday! =w=~ this is cool. =D

But! FYP!!!! haiz..!! y? y? YYY??? frankly speaking i wish my fyp is doing website ONLY! not game which is wat my group is doing zzz.. 命苦。。 TT nvm la. since it's decided n not reversible, i've to do it! hai..

been doing research n watching tutorial for flash since i'm the animator, i hope i learn something from it! =D 经一事，长一智！(aga aga translation: u learnt something when u came across something new!) yeah i wish i like my role. =)

Current new love or rather, fell in love again, Cabal! ^^ yes i play cabal again! it's still the coolest graphic i've ever seen in the game i've played. However i'm playing private server XD~~ cos i dun hav time to build my char again if i play the original one (anyway i've uninstall the ori Cabal).. n i jus wan to enjoy the play of the char i've not tried before! at the ori cabal mercury server i played a Force Blader which is trained till A.master class rank if i'm not wrong. Now i'm playing Force Archer at the private server, needless to say it's already almost the highest rank i could reach but i jus wan to hav fun, using new skill n enjoy the animation. =D maybe i wan to try a Blader after that.

Heard my fren saying she wants to play maple again but she playing at Aquila server while mine is Bootes server.. but nvm cos i hav stopped for a long time ever since i know my most crucial skill is almost unobtainable. T^T sob.. im so sad.. unless u hav meso (the in-game term for money) n u can buy the skillbook but i dun hav enough. T^T n i can't hunt for it cos there is bug n ppl keep dc when they try it. =( so i give up, stucking at that lvl n no mood cos.. imagine ur char's without its crucial skill. crap rite.. so forget it i play another game, when the feeling's back then i play maple again XD

~~~post is done at 5:50pm 27th Aug 2009~~~ who is my next <3? XD~

pass time XD

Jus now i learnt 2 photoshop technic from the web! lol, it's amazing really, how technology entertain ur life! Although im not that creative yet, but i wish someday i could apply the thing i leart n apply in my own creation! i really like design n photography, jus that i dun like to carry the camera & tripod(sometimes) around. (camera i meant analog camera, not digital).

I really wish to be a designer when i completed my studies but after being thru my intdustrial training program (ITP), i had different opinion about the job again. T^T maybe i think im not that skilled yet! >< 功夫不到家 TT

here r the jpeg of wat i learnt from the tutorial jus now, u can c the tutorial about creating these 2 art work ^^ :

(i know this look very different from wat it taugh but i really tried my best le)

(i like it alot! =D)

As u know im finishing my school nxt april n each of us is to create our own portfolio to showcase the work that we did since yr 1! =D i wanted it to be nicely consolidate n presentable cos i want to feel the achievement, the feeling of doing wat i like! ^^

~~~post is done at 15:37pm 20th Aug 2009~~~ I determined to learn more on my own!

multiposting

it had been a while since i last posted an entry... well, all becos i've been busy with many things like assigments n family matters.. phew~~ now it had all settled n now i hav new stuff to busy with =.=... marathon sia...

ok first, lets start with my assignments.. on the whole i have, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.. 8! omg.. thx god it's all completed. =D the last one was yesterday n it was a new experience to me cos my group is producing a live but fake video at the school's recording studio. lol.. we were to produce a roughly 20 mins long video streaming from the studio to the school's server and only my lecturer saw it. it was fun n scaryy at the same time cos during live, every mistake is seen if u made. -.- n i was supposed to do the transition of different cameras n advertisement. wah, seriously i was having cold sweat and wet palm for that 20mins. zzzzz.. after all it is over now. =) tentatively the marks is 59/70, so i guess it was still ok as we only rehearsed for 1 time on that same day. LOL! lucky!

ok enough for my school stuff.. so boring.. but one thing gd is that sem 1 is finishing! yeah!! (thought this week is the last n is the exam week! i mus 忍!)

ok, lets move on. The other thing i busy with was my father's "khan mong" (a chinese ritual where the dead's soul is summoned thru a medium). As my uncle told us it is best to do it before the 100th day has passed, so he gotten a date on the 16th this month. for my case, i hav some procedure to go thru before i can go into m'sia, n it's troublesome. -.- for those who know me, u should know y. however i didnt feel troublesome at all cos it was for my father's sake, of course i wanted to know how my father is doing now(assuming it is accurate) so i went down to places getting the necessary documents n get the "thing" done. n viola! i went to m'sia on the 15th n came back on the 17th.

The ritual was short, including my bro-in-law's father, total it took about 20 mins. Then we rest awhile n had our lunch n dinner n came back on that same day. according to the medium, my father is still undergo "healing" cos my father was still sick before he passed away, n he had received all the offering we did on his funeral. N he hardly able to visit us(our family) cos he doesn't hav the strength to do so yet. hearing all the words my father said made me feel sad. i hope my father would not suffer anymore.

So i was back in sg at 3am on the 17th and i had to wake up early to go to the school for my last assignment which was mentioned above. pretty tiring n i was like a zombie. cos i didnt hav gd sleep on the car. however, it was all yesterday n the past. now i've rest enough n hav to start revising for this week's exam. i've a total of 3 exams n thats it! end of this sem!! yeah...!! BUT! the nightmare is jus about to begin! OH NO!!!!!!!!!! the dreadful final year project(FYP)! sob sob.... although my holiday starts right after this fri which is my last paper, i hav to start working on the project already cos its credit is **** heavy n can't afford to fail! i dun wan to stay in school any longer than 3yrs man.. so i hav no rest basically. -__-"

ok i shall start revising for tml's paper now. that's it for this entry!

~~~post is done at 11:14am 17th Aug 2009~~~ FYP is stressful! omg i hope i could get it thru quickly

edited photos =)

I did this using photoshop jus now. ^^ compilling pics of me n my bf during our 23rd anniversary day.

23rd month anniversay

yesterday celebrated our 23rd month with my bf, we went to marina square n had dinner n bowling afterwards, however, there r other ppl too. there r eileen, steve, henry, kenneth n jimmy. all of them r my bf's poly closed frens but were aquirtance to me cos that was my first time meeting them.

Earlier on i n ny bf were at my sis hs visiting my sis n her children, YiJun & TyzzXuan. my bf bought 2 coloring book for them, ben10 n hello kitty for each of them, they were so happy n contented. =) jus like any other child when u buy thing

s to them. watching them getting excited about it made me felt happy too. after that we left to marina square for the gathering.

we reached there at around 7pm n had our dinner first at a eatery name.. "hotpot"?? or was it "hotspot"?? i forgot.. we had steamboat and it was 8++ for each person only. I had a chicken one n the rest had beef n seafood. It had been a long time i had not been to eat steamboat except for the one at marina south which was about 5 to 7 yrs ago?? with who i forgot also.. hai.. i've aged... after that we went up another level n they played bowling. it was around 9pm then. i dun play bowling so i watched them playing throughtout the 2 rounds. Seems fun, maybe i would like to try it with only my bf n i cos i feel shy if i play with others w

hen i dun even know how to play. hmm.. when they finish

ed playing it was around 11+ n steve suggested to go to barrage which is at marina south. i didnt know about this place at first. it was a pace where u could c sea n the sg flyer n the establishing IR. it was windy n there were many ppl there. mostly family having picnic n photographers taking phtoos there.. i also saw some cycling around there. Not a bad scenery except many construction works r on-going.

they took lot's of funny pics n had lot of fun cos i've nv know my bf could be this happy. i think we nid more time to understand each other. after yesterday, i feel like there is a gap between us. idk where but i think he is not wat i tot he is. watever it is, i think this annivesary celebration is one of the most _______. i'll leave it blank cos idk wat am i thnking yet. Idk mu feelings. cos they r mixed.

These r some of the photos we took b4 we went out. ^^

~~~post is done at 10:27am 2nd Aug 2009~~~ 23rd month already, we r soon to be tgt for 2yrs... im so glad =)

tiring FYP

For the past 1 week, i had been busy with my school's final yr project "proposal" alone. zzZZ slpless nites.. overly use of computer.. tons of meeting with team-mates.. strand of my eyes.. @@ i really fell sick after that.. which was yesterday. -.- I had headache last nite when i return hm, i couldnt take it n finally took a medicine my bf got it for me (he even tested the heat of the water b4 he let me drink it ^^, internally i am 200% healed! lol) so i fell aslp at 9+ pm.. last few nites i was like slping at 12+, 1+ ,3 n wake up at 7, that continued for few nites even. *faint* Now that the proposal had finally submitted, i felt much relieved. =w=.. But! i know.. the nitemare has yet to come... FYP!

~~~post is done at 10:27am 31st July 2009~~~ I believe something BIG is coming... Be prepared!

不明白

Sometimes i feel that he seemed happier when he wasn't with me. He laughed more often when he is at the living room with his sis, while i am in his bedroom. Even if we were tgt in the room. He would play on his computer n hav fun. When it's time, he would leave to do other things like watching tv, having fun with his sis, teasing the rabbit n laughed tgt. N im inside his room alone. Sometimes we do laugh tgt but, like wat my previous topic said, we tend to hav more differences as time goes by. We could feel unsatisfied with things we done. u not happy with me n neither am i happy with u, that kind of feeling u know. However, when i think of the happy moments we both had, it mixes up my feeling n make me feel sad. Y mus things hav to be in this way? I know a couple should be giving n taking to get along happily, y cant i be more idiotic? More careless, less mindful of surrounding, or in another word, fuck care of what happen that make me 不顺眼, 不爽 or wat. i know i m very petty in relationship, i wasnt like this at all with my ex-es.. i jus dun understand y would i become like this. U used to control me so tightly that i hav not much frens now, no one call me to go out, no one would msg me "how r u? wan to meet up sometimes?", or watever, my phone could stay silent for days, ever if i on my msn, it's as gd as pointless cos it wont make a sound, no one would msn me. I prevented frens from the past to reach me again, i even changed my hp number, removed my friendster, changed my email address, i did it all because of u, but y sometimes i still feel no appreciated? I know, if this issue is mentioned again, u would say u r already very sorry, jus go do watever i wan n befriend with whoever i wan rite? Sometimes that sound irresponsible u know, depend on how u put it. Y cant i sense anything from u? Y sometimes ur face has told everything but yet ur mouth still denied?! thats super annoying u know? i dun wan to talk to u more on anything cos i know how attitude can i be when im not happy with u, sometimes i know im wrong or wat, i jus wan to oppose u, i jus wan to do it! Would u care more about me? I know that if i raise this up again, what will be the result, i dun wan to argue with u, neither i wan to shout at u or be unreasonable with u, i jus wan to say it out, no frens, no family, all i can find is blog here to keep something about me, some part of my life that happened. At least i am remembered.

~~~post is done at 7:42pm 26th July 2009~~~ Will someone remember me? or will i be remembered by anyone in the heart?

Im disappointed! F***

Today i went down to Singtel happily cos i wanted to re-contract my soon-to-expire Singtel plan. I had eyed on the Samsung Preston when i first saw it online n immediately told my bf i wanted to change to this phone once my plan ends.. On the internet i saw that it is $0 with 2 yrs contract, that's it, no other info at all. But, when i went there, i actually have to sign up another broadband plan, tgt with my existing plan, so can i get the phone with $0. Sad... I was really disappointed. =(

when i went hm, i checked on the internet again n i saw that there r diff when u purchase online or in singtel shop. my bf also said that, but the singtel staff didnt! Then my bf ask me to call to ask if i purchase it online, will it be $0 like wat the web says. But i also wanted to convert to student plan so i hav some question to ask rite? N i afraid if i straight purchase it thru the phone(cos they might be able to help us make online purchase rite? who knows), will forget to ask something n make wrong purchase instead???!! so i ask my bf n he say.......................

Aiya, im not in gd mood now, i hav no mood to type out what he said jus now, on the whole i am pek chek, with singtel, with my bf, with my disappointment, with the little boy who sneezed behind my bf while we were queuing at Singtel n made he du lan. angry that the mood became like this! i m so angry u know? i am disappointed already cos i cant change my phone, my current phone is already showing sign of wear n tear, keep on having problems like shuting off by itself, not responsive to the buttons, etc.. N one thing i noticed is, "most" of the times, my bf will not be happy when we were outside, be it to hav a walk at the mall, or go out n "play" (it is the same as walking jus that we walk at towns instead of neighborhood SC, and dress slightly nicely), my bf will get irritated to at least one thing(i emphasize, not every time when we went out, it is "MOST" of the time). I dunno y.. i ask him:"y r u moody?", he says:"No, im not. Nth" n it seemed like he wanted to go hm right immediately. N my face was like, i-wish-someone-could-be-kind-enough-to-let-me-slap-him-or-her-hard-on-the-face. "i am not blind" was my response to him. R couples that being tgt too long tend to show all these kind of attitude to their partner? 佛也有火.. something i was fuming till my ears were red n my face were hot. If hitting somebody wasnt a crime, i would do it. I am violent when i angry, i admit. I wont hurt someone of course. I jus like to vent it out by destroying things violently. Sometimes i like to vent it on myself, i will feel better, really. Really sadist. Y the closer the 2 ppl get, the more the conflict. 数不尽的磨差。 I hate this, this make me fear on marriage even more.

~~~post is done at 9:48pm 25th July 2009~~~ Can we have more tolerance to each other? Im like a timed bomb already. Dun make it blow pls

headach day =(

Today i was having the chronic headache again.. -.- it is super irritating n distracting! idk y?? i keep having headache once in awhile sometimes.. n it makes me feel so agitated that my mood gets worst.. $#%#$# i know i shouldnt but it is really unbearable!!! HAIZ!! like today.. i had 2 major module in 1 day. -_____-" in the morning im struggling with php programming.. had FYP meeting during break until my lesson started at 130.. *siong.. (cos feeling headache).. then the powderful one is.. java n action script! piang i really drained.. all the way till 3pm, had a mini-pathetic 15 mins break till 3.15pm then headed off to fusionopolis..

up till now i still dunno what it is?? a office building? a dun-look-so-much-like-a-mall-yet-look-like-it building? a half-established watever?? all i know it's located at Buona Vista.. somewhere near the mrt station.. supposedly, my class n ashes class were to be present but some of them didnt go.. *actually i didnt want to go too.. ><.. but couldnt escape cos my lecturer who taugh me in the afternoon was in charge of bringing us there.. so.. i couldnt run! ZZzz.... we went there for a talk on different classification of video games.. by MDA (media development and authority).. a guy briefted us on various types of games that r violence, consist of sexual content, nudity or gore.. as i am a media student too.. i think the purpose of this talk is to make us aware of the limitation singapore is accepting. Hmmm.. Actually i think something that attracts a person's interest is actually what being censored away. XD~~ dun u agree? After the talk ended, i met my bf at buona vista mrt station n we headed off hm tgt... =w= lucky my bf helped me carried the bag n laptop if not i think my body is gonna ache too. ><" TQ dear! ^^

~~~post is done at 9:34pm 15th July 2009~~~ headache i hate u pls go away T^T

laze~~ =w=

wah~~ wat a lazy me today... Zzz.. feel so gd to laze once a while sometimes lol ^^ suddenly i feel so gd when it is friday cos i know it will be weekend after that! woah!! I <3 weekends.. no school, no assignment(sometimes).. no nid to climb that "wonderful" overhead bridge near my hs.. -.- no nid to carry my "lovely-light-weighted" laptop and charger and still have to CLIMB staircase in my school!! argh.. 不见得我会瘦一点.. O_O

Yesterday drank some chivas with my boyfren n his sisters at home! lol.. so long nv drink already.. feel quite gd n recalled the time when i used to drink... thinking back.. i've not chilled out for so long already... my last ktv session was 2 yrs back when i celebrated my birthday in 2007 at civic centre's party world... -____- i rmb clearly lo... haiz. n my last clubbing was st.james.. also 2 yrs back.. HAIZZZZ!!!!! sometimes i really wan to go play n relax n hav FUN! ARGGHHHH.... Y?Y??Y??? though my bf promised he will not stop me anymore.. i still can't go! I can't put through myself to jus go without thinking whether he like or not! ZZZZZZZZZZ!! SIAN! dun write le!

~~~post is done at 8:36pm 11th July 2009~~~ I wish i can go out play some "night"!

ZZZzz sudden attack isn't fun -.-

wah lao jus now i played SA (sudden attack) n i so pek chek la! -___- i know such game is like that, if u did something wrong or u cause others to die, u r a jerk! Damn... they keep saying "retard la", "noob".. zzzz sian.. i scolded them retarded n left.. all suckers! #$#$!% then now i go in maple n play.. better rite? u dun hav to team up with others, instead i think training alone is better lo.. -.- sian.. when my mood back then i con't playing that.. maybe combat arms.. Hump!

~~~post is done at 4:10pm 5th July 2009~~~ Argh!! i HATE sudden attack!

1st wkend after school reopens!

Wah... im feeling so gd after a gd slp last night (though i sprained my neck while slping -.- it hurts still! T.T). Today is the first saturday after my new school term starts. I had been busy from mon to yesterday and now i could finally relax n watch naruto.. lol.. been watching a bit here n there.. now only watch till 120++ episodes with my bf..

Im downloading a new game "Combat Arms" lol.. somwtimes hav to switch game to play n hav fun! haha.. i've not been playing CS for a loooong time.. guess i'll still scream when playing the new game, haha.. cos i rmb i used to got very excited when playing CS at lan shop.. -.-.. nervous ma..

(i've jus checked n found that the game is only around 60% downloaded.. -.- super slow)

It's 8pm now, 3 hrs more n i can watch Jacky's Wu show "我猜我猜我猜猜猜" with my bf. ^^ that show is funny lol.. Jacky Wu is really talented.

(22 mins 9 secs left.. -.-)

u know wat? i always think y is it sun tml whenever it's sat today. -.- i wish my weekend could be longer.. T.T n when it is sun, i will whine about tml is Mon!! zzzz Monday Blue is true.. but i feel bored sometimes when i was having holidays. @@ human beings r emotional..

I hav 5 to 7mths to graduation.. thinking of it make me hav mixed feelings.. hmmm... i wanted to work so as to earn money n move on to another stage of my live. on the other hand, i wish i could be living like a student cos it is much much stressless than working live. Agree? Whoever worked before will understand. Forget it, whatever is bound to be coming or happen, let it be. Oh well.

This is the game im downloading now, join me if u wan! ^^

Click here to enter the game site

~~~post is done at 8:15pm 4th July 2009~~~

Wee~~

Bye php!!!!!! wah.. i am like an undead for this whole week la.. -.- been coding n coding n staring at it for nites! @@ cock-eyed already-.- finally now can let my eye rest awhile le.. phew~~ =w=

now i can relax~~ play game~~ listen to music~~ drink coffee~~ watch anime~~ watch show~~ wah~~~~~~ i <3 it~~~~

but i know this is not long-lasting wan! ROAR~~~!!!! My lecturer already announced our next assignments.. other module also.. SOB!! T^T 就知道每拿么好。。。

potato salad

Today i had a potato salad which i bought in the school during lunch. I wanted to try it for a loooooong time n finally i tried it today.. Hmmm... not so gd as i expected, in fact i couldnt finish it -.- Lucky Faith n Karen helped with the rest.. guess this is the last time i'll be buying from the school's stalll! @@ I actually tot it was nice! -__- maybe it was that time when i went to Sakae Sushi with Jess and Ling 2 yrs ago.. They order it n it was so nice! T^T but the school's disappointed me.. sob.. i know i shouldnt expect too much in wat the school is selling. ZZzzz.. I will try it in Sakae Sushi again one day!

我很烦!!!

So irritating!!! My codes are all screwed up!! argh~~~~!!!!! pekchek pekchek!! #$%&#^$#%^ 2 days ago n early this morning my codes r still FINE! but when i tried to make some changes (according to wat my lecturer expect), it is completely messed up! AGRH~~~~~ This is tormenting! HELL!! argh~~~ y? Y? YYYY????? y mus i chose this course! y i hav to deal with php, html, java all these! STUPID!! this is making me crazy! T^T sob!!!!

...............

OK! enuff of venting my frustration! I am now going back to my lovely assignment! D***!!!

bad start for first day of school -____-

Today, it started off like a train till i closed my laptop. -.- rmb i had an assignment that i totally hav no idea how to start at all? Today i asked around for help n now at least i hav a bigger pic. *Dot* O did i mention that today is the day for submission? LOL thats y we rush. Ya, we, the whole class was rushing! -.- i think it is a habit already.. lol.. not everyone was la.. some who is brighter already done before school start! Haiz... if only i hav bionic-eye, hmmm... alright, i wan to turn in now, tml's lesson starts at 10.. Gd nite! zzzzZZ

dun like it =(

Hav u ever come across things like u've said to someone but he/she will still seems surprised when it is told for the second time? what if this thing happens not only for 1 times? I dun understand y? r their such difference between brain of male n female? R male born to be "ignorant"? Or male r more "bo-chap" (dun care in hokkien)? But i know how it feels when i say something, be it casually chatting or passing comment, y can't jus rmb? or at least, hav some faint memories that "Oh ya, u've mentioned it before"? y is it "Huh? Really?" instead? I will feel that all i said is bullshit, 耳边风, not-worth-listening or not-worth-remembering. Let me remind u that this is not the first time. At first, i tot u r forgetful, but i dun think so when this happens for the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time. N it did happen more than that! U think im singing? Or u simply dun care? Whatever.. If what i say to u r not what u will listen n remember, i'll talk to someone else who will listen to me. Or someone who at least will remember what i say. If u think i am being petty, try experience it for few times n feel how ur heart feels. If i hav a close fren to talk to about anything happen to me daily, small or big matters, i would rather talk to him/her then u. I rather talk to my blog, a pet, to the air or wall, as long they listen n remember, i will. I hate to feel this way, being ignored. If u think there r other things much impt to u(u know what it is), then go ahead, face it everyday, every moment, after u opened ur eye for the day n before u closed ur eye for the day. GO AHEAD!

我爱黑糯米<3

Today i woke up date n didnt go to the market with my bf n his mother. -.- cos my bf saw that im slping soundly n didnt wan to wake me up.. =w=..zzzZZ i also dunno y i can slp so long sometimes.. usually 8hrs.. but now im having my holiday n often slp till 9hrs+ or more.

Tml school is starting, i hope i wont be lazy. Hai.. talk about tml's school... zzzz really sian.. my assignment really buang ar~~ only know how to do a little bit only.. haiz... later try again ba. oh well.

Guess wat?! jus now i ate 黑糯米(dark grutinous rice? i dunno if i spelled correctly)! wow this is really delicious! My bf's mother made it n the first time i ate was also made by his mother! so 幸福! ^^ I really <3 it! So delicious! I always like it with lot's of coconut milk! though it is only a small bowl i ate jus now. it is really nice. Hmm... yummy~~ =) Here's the pic:

真的好好吃~~=D

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Today i watched Transformer at Cathay Causeway Point, really awesome and worthwhile! 2 thumbs up! When the show started, the fight almost started till the end but yet it is not boring. The transformation is really amazing. One of the parts when Optimus "died". OMG, i almost cried! But there is a twist! ;) I wont say it, lets leave it suspense to those who has not watched. =) I would expect part3 cos it has to be, i hope the producer wont disappoint us Transformers freaks!

yawn~

just done with my assignment.. -.- so sian.. this is only one of the assignment and i shouldnt say i've done it cos it is only done with my part.. Argh.... y huh.. feeling hard to concentrate.. -.- i stil hav a major assignment which i barely touch yet.. it is about.. 20% done? @@ pathetic rite?? -__-

the time now is 10:03pm.. i bet many of my frens r out there playing lo.. zzzz so gd.. im still waiting for time to pass cos tml im watching Transformers! ^^ my sis asked me the other day. Tml i'll be watching with my sis, bro, bro-in-law and my bf.. haha.. happy.. finally i can go do something, watching movie is fun n transformers is nice! so anticipating! =) Actually my bf did bring me out sometimes, to watch movie, eat, walk walk at cwp(causeway point), watch movie, eat, jalan jalan at cwp, watch movie, eat...... -.- ya, it seems like these r all the things already, nothing else we can do or go. Haiz!

O ya, recently i begin to watch this show online (-.- i dun usually watch show but due to me being at hm SO frequently now, i started to watch drama series la, shake legs to pass time la.. zzzz)
kk, 言归正转.. the name of the show is 幸福的抉择, quite nice and 蓝正龙 acted in the show, im not so sure of the rest. I think wat made me watch the show is due to the music video i saw when i search for this Fish Leong song "属于" in youtube. The first song in my blog's playlist is exactly the song for the show! but the MV isn't. If u wan, search for the one with the show in it. I felt so touch n romantic when the song is played with the show. Made me wan to watch it. =) maybe u can try watching if you wan.

a whole new look!

Hey hey hey!!! welcome to my new out-look! wahahaha.. =) actually.. i screw up my previous one that's y i decided to create a new blog site. -___- anyway.. ahhahaha.. 因祸得福! yeah~~

Today i spent my time at hm. doing my assignment and managing this blog at the same time.. lol.. women r well-known for their multi-tasking am i rite? n i watch the 7pm show 东方之珠, funny show.. jus to pass time also la.. not really into it.. nowaways i hardly go out le.. been staying at hm since long time ago... i am decomposing day by day. -.- zzzz.. i wan to go out but dunno where can i go.. hmmm.. i wan to go clubbing!! ^^ but i hav no frens to join me.. i wan to go singing n pubbing!! ^^ but no kaki too.. zzzz.. haiz.. seriously boring.. wat i usually do r, staring at my lappy, play online game, continue my assignment once in a while, watch tv show, eat, slp.. omg -.- i am a boring person. it's as if i am turning into a "宅女"! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........!!!!! i dun wan T.T

Right after this im going to con't my assignment again!.. bore sia.. haiz! wan to play game but now the game is having an event which will make me lag n DIE! no way am i going into the game now. (btw my char jus died when i played jus now, -5% of my exp DAMN!, thats y i no mood to play also -.-) c how ba, later when i nid to take a rest from my assignment, i might enter in game awhile. ^^