不明白

Sometimes i feel that he seemed happier when he wasn't with me. He laughed more often when he is at the living room with his sis, while i am in his bedroom. Even if we were tgt in the room. He would play on his computer n hav fun. When it's time, he would leave to do other things like watching tv, having fun with his sis, teasing the rabbit n laughed tgt. N im inside his room alone. Sometimes we do laugh tgt but, like wat my previous topic said, we tend to hav more differences as time goes by. We could feel unsatisfied with things we done. u not happy with me n neither am i happy with u, that kind of feeling u know. However, when i think of the happy moments we both had, it mixes up my feeling n make me feel sad. Y mus things hav to be in this way? I know a couple should be giving n taking to get along happily, y cant i be more idiotic? More careless, less mindful of surrounding, or in another word, fuck care of what happen that make me 不顺眼, 不爽 or wat. i know i m very petty in relationship, i wasnt like this at all with my ex-es.. i jus dun understand y would i become like this. U used to control me so tightly that i hav not much frens now, no one call me to go out, no one would msg me "how r u? wan to meet up sometimes?", or watever, my phone could stay silent for days, ever if i on my msn, it's as gd as pointless cos it wont make a sound, no one would msn me. I prevented frens from the past to reach me again, i even changed my hp number, removed my friendster, changed my email address, i did it all because of u, but y sometimes i still feel no appreciated? I know, if this issue is mentioned again, u would say u r already very sorry, jus go do watever i wan n befriend with whoever i wan rite? Sometimes that sound irresponsible u know, depend on how u put it. Y cant i sense anything from u? Y sometimes ur face has told everything but yet ur mouth still denied?! thats super annoying u know? i dun wan to talk to u more on anything cos i know how attitude can i be when im not happy with u, sometimes i know im wrong or wat, i jus wan to oppose u, i jus wan to do it! Would u care more about me? I know that if i raise this up again, what will be the result, i dun wan to argue with u, neither i wan to shout at u or be unreasonable with u, i jus wan to say it out, no frens, no family, all i can find is blog here to keep something about me, some part of my life that happened. At least i am remembered.

~~~post is done at 7:42pm 26th July 2009~~~ Will someone remember me? or will i be remembered by anyone in the heart?