i am confused..

Entry created: 19th April 2010

mood: swaying

well... i am confused and troubled because i am bothered by my serious split-personality problem. I am really very bothered by it. I'm so sick of it. Sometimes i'm very happy like crazy or like i've struck lottery. At times i'm very upset and depressed like it's the end of the world. Y am i behaving like this? i really wonder..

Actually i have a calm-side of me too.. i will think of many things in the future. stuff like whether i can take it if i have a child or when i married, whether i can take the pressure or i jus give in to depression, that's a chance of having it rite? pre or post-natal.. i jus afraid im one of them based of my understanding of myself. the only time i could cool myself was when i was totally being shut away from the outside world. Something like 闭关 (shut oneself in a space) u know, then maybe i can find the normal self.

I am so worried for me. idk what will i becoming in the near future.. i wish there's a way or solution to it.